I was lucky enough this year to ring in 2015 with one of my best friends and a really good friend in Lisbon, Portugal. It was a crazy rush towards midnight as we ran for Praça do Comércio to see the fireworks light up the night sky. 2014 for me was a year over shadowed by a black cloud. Looking back on it I added several new countries to my list (Spain, Belgium, Malta, Denmark, Greece, Morocco, Austria) not to mention revisiting so many old countries and ticking off new cities (Dublin, Prague, Savannah, Washington DC, Madrid, Ibiza, Valencia, Geneva, Zurich, Bodrum). I learned more about red wines as each day went on, and ticked off some amazing things off my bucket list, like sleeping in the Sahara dessert and riding a camel. I discovered who my true friends were, the kind who stick out when you are in trouble and you will never fully be able to repay their kindness. Even though 2014 was filled with so many amazing memories a big black cloud also over shadowed it. I had to relearn how to be myself again, a solo entity.
Starting the year with a break up not only was hard in itself but challenged so many of my beliefs. It shook the core of my foundation. No longer did I believe in soul mates, the idea that you would fall in love once and be happily ever after was destroyed, my ignorance that a man who truly loved you would never cheat and the belief in myself, that I would be enough for someone. Not only did I loose my best friend in 2014, but I lost a lot of my self too. I found myself in a down hill spiral, and it took me a while to get out of it. Every man who approached me at a bar was immediately a liar and a cheat in my eyes and I manipulated every good situation that came my way. My passion for keeping a journal also left me, as I could never face my thoughts or myself. In the last 15 years of my life everything was documented except 2014.
Those 2 minutes right before midnight I felt a volcano inside me… I was frustrated, angry, and confused, but the second the fire works began and the clock struck midnight, I began to cry. The biggest weight fell off my shoulders and I was so happy. The worst year of my life was over and everything that happened to me, I could leave in the past. This was the moment I was waiting for. A fresh start. So I cried tears of happiness and drank Champagne from the bottle.
I was in Lisbon, Portugal with two amazing friends and this was the beginning of my life. My new years resolution was to learn how to love again and find myself again. So here we are.
Who am I? A traveller, a writer, an explorer and a law student.
I will begin this year with the right foot, a smile on my face and find myself again, because I am worth loving, and because I have so much love to give.